I sat down to read my blog after a long time. I have always enjoyed reading my own stuff. I'm funny. But it was different this time. I could see the different bits of my moods showing through each post.
From the marijuana-induced neverland thoughts to the society clean-up obsession; from bitterness to apathy and from humour to nostaligia- each transition is blatantly apparent.
Then I realize I have grown. And for once, not in size. By definition I am still young. But in essence, I am not so sure.
Young was when we thought we could take on the world. Young was when we would come up with new tunes and lyrics in a 60 minutes' lecture. Young was when we would make an award-winning anti-tobacco campaign while smoking our lungs out. Young was when we would quote literature in the BUsiness Strategy paper and then boast about it. Young was when we were dreamy, irrrational and spontaneous.
Young was when we were fearless.
Does growing up have to mean losing your zest for life? Is this reality I have a feeling I have succumbed to? I never thought we would. Not us, not this bunch. Yet, today after a mail from the past, I see this routine I have become.
So now at almost two in the morning, I am stepping back into the old shoes. I am tossing my schedule out of the window, I am digging out the long-stashed cigarettes. I am tiptoeing up the stairs and then noisily opening the door to the terrace and I am lighting up. I am lying on the dirty terrace floor in my t-shirt and shorts. I am star gazing and I am freezing. I am writing for the sheer love of it and not caring if I sound silly. I don't even care if I am scribbling on the sheet or not.
It hasn't left us after all, Khattar. Not yet.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
This senseless chain-reaction
The blame of a caste-based or racial aggression in India falls, among other things on illiteracy and on the lack of social awareness/civic sense. My observations over the years at times of such riots/aggressions tell me that racial distrust is present among the literate and the illiterate alike. The only difference may be that the latter take to the streets during such aggression, and the former don’t.
The educated class also feel resentment towards “the other caste or religion”. Their bitterness reveals itself in small comments and gestures in everyday living. It is exposed when a Hindu mother expresses apprehension over her daughter passing through a Muslim colony alone. It slips out with some angry words from a Muslim whose Hindu neighbour may have the Sanskar channel turned on loud. It is frequently heard in lame jokes about Sikhs, which is shrugged-off as humour. It has been shooting off in all directions with the North-South hostility. Intolerance is something that we have acquired from the generations preceding us- it registers in our minds sub-consciously when our elders make these supposedly “inconsequential” and harmless racist comments.
I am an ashamed Hindu today. The latest Tehelka sting operation that has exposed the people behind the anti-Muslim riots in Gujrat has left me feeling horrified at the cruelty that people are capable of. What is even more shocking is the fact that people from my religion and caste do not necessarily condemn it. And we’re talking about the educated lot here. The standard feeling is that these riots were in response to the Godhara case, where “they had burnt our people alive”.
The pregnant Muslim whose belly was slashed open and foetus thrown out had nothing to do with the Godhra Kaand. Nor did innumerable men, women and children who were killed in the riots. The irony is that the fanatic religious “leaders” are all holed up in their comfort zones during such incidents.
India is not secular. On paper, yes. In truth, no. In the quarrel over what “they” did that triggered this reaction from “us”; or the incidents before that, that led to this senseless and brutal chain-reaction, aren’t we forgetting about today and now?
It is not just about religion. During the honouring ceremony of our victorious twenty-twenty squad at the Wankhede stadium, Sharad Pawar had rudely shoved aside one of the women who were carrying bouquets to the stage. A very small incident, the common reaction to which is “Hota hai”. But we did not shrug-off the episode where the same Sharad Pawar was shoved aside by Ricky Ponting during a presentation ceremony.
Of course all issues are turned into political scandals and plots by the ministers and their respective parties. This time too, questions are being raised on the timing of this sting operation, and on the authenticity of Tehelka.
Assuming all clarifications and counter-allegations by the concerned party is worth something; one hopes that there will be some concrete action out of this “breaking news”.
The educated class also feel resentment towards “the other caste or religion”. Their bitterness reveals itself in small comments and gestures in everyday living. It is exposed when a Hindu mother expresses apprehension over her daughter passing through a Muslim colony alone. It slips out with some angry words from a Muslim whose Hindu neighbour may have the Sanskar channel turned on loud. It is frequently heard in lame jokes about Sikhs, which is shrugged-off as humour. It has been shooting off in all directions with the North-South hostility. Intolerance is something that we have acquired from the generations preceding us- it registers in our minds sub-consciously when our elders make these supposedly “inconsequential” and harmless racist comments.
I am an ashamed Hindu today. The latest Tehelka sting operation that has exposed the people behind the anti-Muslim riots in Gujrat has left me feeling horrified at the cruelty that people are capable of. What is even more shocking is the fact that people from my religion and caste do not necessarily condemn it. And we’re talking about the educated lot here. The standard feeling is that these riots were in response to the Godhara case, where “they had burnt our people alive”.
The pregnant Muslim whose belly was slashed open and foetus thrown out had nothing to do with the Godhra Kaand. Nor did innumerable men, women and children who were killed in the riots. The irony is that the fanatic religious “leaders” are all holed up in their comfort zones during such incidents.
India is not secular. On paper, yes. In truth, no. In the quarrel over what “they” did that triggered this reaction from “us”; or the incidents before that, that led to this senseless and brutal chain-reaction, aren’t we forgetting about today and now?
It is not just about religion. During the honouring ceremony of our victorious twenty-twenty squad at the Wankhede stadium, Sharad Pawar had rudely shoved aside one of the women who were carrying bouquets to the stage. A very small incident, the common reaction to which is “Hota hai”. But we did not shrug-off the episode where the same Sharad Pawar was shoved aside by Ricky Ponting during a presentation ceremony.
Of course all issues are turned into political scandals and plots by the ministers and their respective parties. This time too, questions are being raised on the timing of this sting operation, and on the authenticity of Tehelka.
Assuming all clarifications and counter-allegations by the concerned party is worth something; one hopes that there will be some concrete action out of this “breaking news”.
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