Our lives in the aftermath

Mumbai strikes are in the final stages of clean up. The final rites of brave soldiers who gave up their lives have been done. Even in my mind, any words to describe the emotions being felt by people sound fake, deliberate. Things you would expect to hear at such a time. I won't write them. I am very angry. And I need this anger to consume my mind and body for a long time. I won't shout it out and forget about it. I will not give a vent to these feelings. Not this time.

Very important realizations have come out of these attacks. The realization that we are in the middle of a war now. The attacks are to be part of our lives now. There is no scope of denial left. Nobody is safe and there is no use pretending otherwise. If not today, then tomorrow. If not here, then somewhere else. I have had enough of scuttling around like frightened mice. I wrote in my previous post that the need is to come out of the bubble that we create around us. To quit guarding our precious selves so fiercely that we forget to care about the people we live with.

I was ashamed on watching news reports about the 31-yer old Major who died because he did not want to leave his injured colleague behind. I was ashamed when I saw his father on the news- calm and without a hint of tears in his eyes. Pride oozing from his broken heart.
I was ashamed because I had felt the same anger at several incidents in the past. I had been angry during Gujrat, during Mumbai train blasts, during 9/11 and during Delhi blasts. But then I forgot about them and went back to my work, to my life.

This time we won't forget. We will write about it and talk about it everyday so we don't forget. We will paste pictures, print posters, relate songs with this incidence and upload videos so that it is firmly embedded in our mind.

The terrorists in the Mumbai attacks were between ages 21-25. Maybe I shouldn't say this but I am impressed. However barbaric, however insanely devastating their plot was, they showed the sheer power of and havoc that can be caused by an inspired young mind. Learn from this- not to go around bombing the world and killing people. But learn the essence: the sheer power of an inspired young mind. The kind of havoc we can wreak on those who have unwittingly shown us our strengths in trying to break us.

Don't forget. Don't forgive. And most importantly, don't live with it. I won't.

Extreme ways

We have been hit. Again. With every attack, the feeling of helplessness grows stronger among us. We were supposedly the next super power. We were doing extremely well financially and were developing. Yet, as of 7:26 pm on Nov. 27, 2008 a country on its way to being a super power has been smashed, tattered and raped.

Ratan Tata said today that while this was no time to point fingers it was clear that the govt. had not learnt its lesson the last time. Had it done so, it would have put up a security infrastructure in place. He wished we would all learn the lesson now.

And he is not wrong. We may have always been a peace-loving country but it was in a time when the world still relatively played by the rules. Desperate times call for extreme measures. We have lived safe, almost self-centred lives for too long now. If we have to live in an environment such as this, which threatens to catch us off our guard, we have to learn to be on our guard.

We need a compulsory 1 year army training for every person after class 12 to enable each to defend himself and fight. More importantly, a training that will make each one of us understand that our country comes before us. It is not enough to talk about it, harp on the sentiment, send SMSs to news channels and then forget about it. It means understanding that my life is far less worthy than that of 50 others who may be with me when disaster strikes. That I will not run for cover when someone comes charging at me but I will stand and fight, and by God if I die even without so much as making the other person flinch, I will die a happy person. That I will not be bullied into looking the other way if I am not the one who is being hurt.

There has been too much of blame-putting. Too many questions, too much expectations for a hero to save the day. Each person needs to realize the hero in himself. To quit being scared. Heck, if we continue living like this, we will all eventually die in one bomb blast or the other. We might as well fight it.

Can do versus Want to do

In my previous post I ranted and raved against the brainwashing of young minds. While it is not easy for those who shuffle with the crowd, it is an equally rough deal for those who attempt to live on their own terms.

Each person has his own dreams and aspirations. They tend to evolve and change with time. The more creative and imaginative a mind, the more distracted and confused it is about the things it could do.

We have placed so much importance on career and jobs that we often mistake it as being synonymous with life. I don't know what I want to do career-wise but I do know that I want a quiet life, just about enough money to pay my bills with some time for myself. I do not want a mobile phone and I prefer desktops over laptops. I don't want a swanky car but a rugged and tattered open jeep. I want a small house on a hill and a little way from habitat and I want it near a town, not a city. I want to be part of a well-knit community where everyone knows everyone. And I don't want to change the world. Every career-choice I decide on has one underlying principle: to lead me to my life's goal.

Sometimes, it may be worth your while to consider what a person wants to do, as opposed to what he can do. Everybody has the right to work hard for his own fairytale life. The fairytale may be set in a grand castle or in a hut atop a hill- if it special to an individual, it should be worthy of the respect of those around him.

The big brainwash

I had the chance to cover a career councelling session at a popular school in Dehradun for my paper a few days back. This was the first time I was going to a school since I left for Delhi 4 years back and got back from there. I was appalled to see the kind of things that were being talked about during the panel discussion on various career avenues for the kids.

The panel in the said discussion comprised professionals from the "popular" careers- there was a doctor, a CA, an engineer, an IT professional and so on. The first speaker came forth to talk about where to begin. His first statements were as follows:

"Be sincere. Don't think I can do this and I can do that also. Be focussed on one thing. Choose now and do it. Then you will be able to do something good in life. Otherwise you will only do simple graduation."

It took supreme effort on my part to not jump on the dias and strangle the piece of lard blabbering before me. How can a school student here be expected to know for a fact what he wants to do in his life? There is the make-slips-and-pick-one or go-along-with-your-friend or dad-knows-best ways of deciding. But seeing as this may be considered a life-changing choice, the least one would want was to know each career avenue entailed.

But the school auhtorities are smart. This was why they had called professionals to talk about their respective careers. Here is what the CA said:

"If you become CA, you have to do many things. You have to maintain records, do audits and compile books and compund interests and taxes. So CA is for the students who have a flair for finance or legal matters because CA has to take care of many legal matters."

Sure. Couldn't be clearer. After all, if a 17-year old doesn't know if he has a flair for legal or financial matters, he has no right to attend a career-councelling session.

School students, especially those who are taking boards have to attend school and study. Period. They spend their "free" time over the phone or on orkut. None of them have worked a single hour in their lives and the only people they talk to are their close-knit gang at school or in tuitions. Analyse the situation- they see nothing, they know nothing- especially where their interests lie- and they have to decide what they want to do right after school and in many cases, during school.

This is the reason why most professionals are disillusioned in the first year of their high-paying jobs. It is a fact that simple graduation is not such a bad option when you don't know what you have to do. Parents would come after me with forks and torches to burn me alive for this blasphemy but another fact is that it is OK to NOT know what you want to do. If you are in standard 12 and your life is remotely similar to what I have mentioned above and you think you know what you want to do in your life, then you probably don't.

I am all for taking as long as it takes to figure out what. Because it is important. Because it is something I have to do- not my dad; not my best friend; not my teachers and not the damned career councellor. Me. I think it should be made mandatory for all 11th standard students to travel for 6 months- backpack through the country, meet people, volunteer at hospitals, schools and theatre groups. Do an intership with MNCs or media houses or under lawyers and CAs. See everything, interact with people, ask questions and then decide where they want to go.

But this education system that takes in individuals and churns out a standard, study-work-marry-die human force has gripped entire generations of adults and children.
The top 2 questions that a child who has recently learnt to talk knows the answer to are-

1. What is your name?
2. What will you be when you grow up?

The big brainwash.